OK, so I’ve been avoiding writing this for quite a while now for a very simple reason; I have no idea where to even start! But the time has come and I feel like I should explain what’s been going on for the last month or so and what all the recent changes in here are all about.
If you’re part of my Unicorn tribe (yes, that’s its actual name :-) meaning, you’re receiving my weekly oracle messages and news, you probably know the end of February was a bit intense for me.
I went to the most wonderful retreat/ conference/ ‘I can’t believe I’m crying every 10 seconds but it’s all so emotional’ weekend in Canberra with my all time favourite idol, Leonie Dawson. It was awesome, it was raw… and in many ways, it was totally life-changing.
I think that for the first time in 2 years it actually made me fully realise how exhausting and non-doable the way I did my biz was.
CUTTING THE CORD
To give you a bit of a context (not to pity myself… But hey, why not?!:-D), I was still running two businesses in two different countries; Czech Republic and Australia.
Which seemed like a really good idea at first, because you know, I got to keep all my Czech clients and my connection with home while building something new here in the kangaroo land… Except there’s this thing called time difference… and exchange rate… and translation… and doing everything twice which quite obviously results in double workload… Which brings me to this other thing called life/work balance and sanity which, as you’ve probably guessed by now, I was starting to loose big time.
And I know it’s no rocket science to figure out this might all be a bit too much, but you know when you’re like, ‘Naaaaah! How hard can it really be?!’
Now, this wasn’t my first crisis. I remember writing a very similar article like a year ago, announcing getting more focused on my Czech peeps for a change. The thing is, getting it all sorted out in your head is usually just the first step. You then actually have to do it too!
And that’s where I failed.
I was thinking I was redistributing my time more consciously and efficiently when I actually wasn’t! I still had way too many eggs in way too many baskets and it was only in Canberra when I finally realised how exhausted and resentful I really was.
And it freaked me out!
I cried like a baby.
I wanted to quit and get a job (you know, like normal people).
I felt like a total failure.
And so I cried some more.
And then I realised that I’ve been holding onto my Czech biz because it felt so safe and cozy and that if I really wanted to stop self-sabotaging and grow, I had to cut the cord.
And so I did.
I stopped all my work in progress, I withdrew from some projects and finally became present with the fact that I live in Australia now. And that’s where I need to be doing most of my stuff (don’t you love it how the greatest and hardest insights are always soooo excruciatingly simple?).
DROPPING MY COACHING IDENTITY
Then I had dinner with my wonderful friends who do amazing work in this world, Jess, Fernanda and Isiah and as we were chatting and having a very deep conversation (drinking wine and eating raw cakes. You know the drill…) about what the heck is coaching anyways, as there are literally thousands of schools with certifications lasting from a couple of days to a couple of years!
And as everyone was describing what coaching means to them, I had a massive moment of enlightenment.
I realised, that OMG, I’m NOT a coach!
I never truly was one!
Yes, I’ve studied it. Yes, I’ve coached many people, but the truth is, I never really resonated with the term itself or with the whole “getting results” attitude. What I always loved the most when working with my clients was teaching and guiding them towards empowerment.
I had to let this sink in for a couple of days. Because you know how you identify with a label or a role sometimes as ‘you had to work hard to get there’ or because ‘that’s what you have qualifications for’? Yeah, same here!
“Are you nuts, Karolina? So what are you gonna throw away your credentials now to become a teacher? A teacher of what? You don’t have any school for that! You haven’t written any books yet! Don’t be ridiculous!”
But no matter how loud the gremlins in my head were yelling at me, deep down I already knew.
I’m a teacher.
And my favourite teaching tool is Tarot.
Which is why I finally decided to thank my coaching identity for everything it has taught me and leave it behind in order to step into my new role of a Tarot Alchemist.
The truth is, most of my clients have been coming to me for readings anyways (yep, the Universe has actually been showing me the way for ages now, but I’m kinda slow, haha!) and to me, Tarot has it all!
It’s gentle, it’s loving, it generates connection, understanding and compassion.
It helps you to get present and uncover the what, why & how.
It brings you back to yourself.
It empowers by showing you, that you already know all the answers.
And the fact that it’s gorgeous and makes you feel like a total badass witch is just an extra cherry on top!:-))
So yeah, that’s it, treasure.
That’s why I’ve updated this whole site. That’s why I’ve taken the ‘coach’ out from my ‘title’. That’s why I’ll be teaching Tarot reading, doing Tarot mentoring and basically, diving into Tarot alchemy sessions with you simply because that’s what I found to be working the best.
Blog-wise I’ll keep covering all kinds of topics, insights and tips for growth, not just Tarot stuff because basically, I can’t stop philosophising about pretty much everything.:-))
Thanks for bearing with me, darling, you’re the best and I really hope you’ll enjoy this space more than ever before!